Friday, November 21, 2008


My coat smells like curry. This reminds me of my old friend Jimmy.

Wait, Go back.

When I was a little kid my neighbourhood had a bunch of kids and we formed a little club of sorts. There were about 10 of us and we all knew each other pretty well, we had all been in each others houses, we all spent a lot of time together, especially in the summer. Curry reminds me of this, because one of the friends in this group was Jimmy. Jimmy’s parents are from india and his house always smelled of curry. One day they got a central air system, and I thought Jimmy was trying to surprise me, but then I discovered that it was just the central air system pumping out the smell of curry.

Curry is one of those smells that you can never really get rid of. I once read a book in which the main character’s mom had a marijuana grow-op in her basement (don’t ask…) and when she had to refine her crop she always made curry to mask the smell of pot. I think that makes so much sense because curry fills the air with its scent, and it lingers. My housemate made curry for supper, and all of the clothes I own that were in the general vicinity of the kitchen, now smell like curry, and will probably continue to smell that way for a while.

Now that I look back, I wonder if kids still do the whole “neighbourhood club” thing that we did back then. We were a really tight group of friends, based solely on our geographical proximity to each other, and we shared a lot of sweet times together. I can remember staying out until late evening playing hide and seek and having to be told to come in because it was time for my bath. I remember hide and seek being awesome because there were enough of us to make it fun.

Oh man, this reminds me of this one time when there was a girl who I had a massive crush on and I was trying to start this conversation with her and go deep and I launched into this whole “don’t you miss childhood” think on MSN and I’m pretty sure she thought I was a total weirdo. That’s actually the only msn conversation I’ve ever had with her.

All of this to say that memories come back to me so easily sometimes. All it takes is a whiff of curry and my brain is filled with memories and thoughts to write down here.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Why there Seems to Be a Loss of Creativity Over Here

Sometimes I get depressed.

This is not related specifically to anything in particular that's going on in my life. I like to think (at least right now I like to think) that things in my life are going poorly all of the time and it's my perception of those things that indicated whether I'm depressed or not.

Example 1. I do not currently, and have not ever had a girlfriend. Sometimes this doesn't bother me. Sometimes it bothers me a little bit but I'm able to push it aside and enjoy the multitude of friends that I do in fact have. Sometimes I'm thankful that I'm not tied down by having a girlfriend at all. But when I'm depressed, this fact bothers me to the point where it makes me very upset. It causes me to reevaluate everything about my life, it makes me angry at God, and it makes me upset when I have to spend time alone and bottle up the troubles I'm having because I don't feel like I have anyone to confide them in (remembering of course that I'm depressed while I think these things).

Example 2. Usually, I like to spend time with people. Usually I enjoy hanging with people and enjoying their company and serving and working and all those wonderful things. Usually I like having deep spiritual discussions with people. When I'm depressed I want to do things by myself. I want to read emotionally involving books, I want to watch movies that are entertaining and that I haven't seen in a while. I want to play video games. I want to make up sombre songs on my guitar and play jazz. I want to listen to "Sigur Ros" and "Christmas Time is Here" over and over and over again. I want the world to stop bothering me.

Example 3. Usually, I spend time caring about things in life. I care about school, I care about chores, I care about the cleanliness level of my room (arguably....), and I care about doing jobs well. When I'm depressed, I care about very little. I care about my immediate needs and how to fulfill them with as little energy as possible. I care about finding things that are instantly gratifying. I don't care that I have a lab to do on Tuesday, a Greek quiz on Wednesday that I will no doubt fail, a bio quiz on Tuesday that I'm not ready for, and a chemistry assignment that I will have to prepare for. None of these assignments seem particularly urgent, nor particularly pressing.

Sometimes I wonder why I get this way. It's not like anything specific sets it off, my brain just decides to work slowly. And it's not like you'd notice. Somehow I manage to force myself to feign emotions long enough to appear "usual".

In the words of a popular song "You'll have to excuse me, I'm not at my best".

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

That Old Timey Music

When I lived with my parents we had this kind of unspoken rule in the house. Christmas Music was not to be played until at least November. Any earlier than that and I ran the risk of driving my mom crazy with pre-christmas induced madness (by the way, pre-christmas madness is a disease characterized by a sudden onset of stress as a result of the things that need to be done in relation to the holiday season and the lessening amount of time to do them). When I was a kid this wasn't really a big problem because as a child I didn't have the vested interest in music that I have now, and I never really liked any of our Christmas music anyways. I didn't really want to "have a super duper Christmas with Jesus this year"(fact: that's an actual lyric from one of my parents Christmas CD's). I love Jesus and everything but I can't take that kind of attitude. I needed something more...real. So I continued to be blissfully ignorant of the Christmas Music law.

Then one day my sister Alison brought over the soundtrack to "A Charlie Brown Christmas". At the time I didn't really listen to a lot of Jazz but I remember enjoying it a lot. Then Christmas came and went, and I forgot about this "Vince Guaraldi Trio" business. Then about 2 years ago when I was in Grade 11, I remembered this Vince fellow and went out and purchased "A Charlie Brown Christmas". My mom was rather unhappy with me that year because she doesn't really like jazz music and I must have listened to that album a billion times that Christmas. I LOVED it, and I dug it out at every possible opportunity.

Every Christmas since that day, I've dug out that album on November 1st and taken the time to enjoy it's playful tone, and its flighty piano solos, while also appreciating its subdued manner and the feel of songs like "Christmas Time is Here", and "My Little Drum". This album pretty much sums up everything about how I feel about Christmas in instrumental forms and I love it.

I think somewhere back home, my mother is happy that she doesn't have to hear it again until I go home on the 13th.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

We Now Return to Our Regular Scheduled Programming

Thanks for putting up with my brief political interlude. Part of the reason I posted it in the first place was because I was sorely lacking in post thoughts as of late. I also posted it because I actually feel like the world is a very different place now and I couldn't think of a different way to express it than simply stating how I felt about the whole thing.

Part of the reason I posted it is because supporting Barack Obama is the hip thing to do these days.....

Sometimes I wonder why celebrities get behind similar political figures all the time. Whenever you see videos about supporting a particularly liberal politician, they always have a huge truckload of celebrities behind them. Case in point? "Yes We Can".

That video has a truckload of celebrities in it. And you would think that among all of those celebrities at least one of them would support McCain or go the other way or something but they all support Obama. What is that? Is it actually them all supporting him or are they just doing it to make themselves look good?

Here's to supporting people out of honesty because, let's be honest, nobody wants to make themselves look good by copying me. I have poor PR skills.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Yes We Can!

Yesterday the world was a bad place. Yesterday I wasn't sure where life was going. Yesterday I felt cynical, dissatisfied, and had a low level of frustration with the way things were happening.

Yesterday a Black Democratic man was elected President of the United States of America.

Now I don't expect Barack Obama to fix all the problems in the world, I don't expect him to be a savior, and I don't expect him to be perfect, but I must say this. His election has cured me of my cynicism. For once in my life, I've seen people turn to someone who appears to honestly be trying to make a difference and chosen him as their leader. So what am I trying to say?

Yes we can.