Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Sometimes I want to throw something off of a building. Today is one of those days. Then I relive the glory of smashing things by watching this video.

Monday, July 27, 2009

This Whole Jesus Thing

Working in leadership at a non-denominational Christian camp leaves one with little time to muse and philosophize. Being busy generally just leaves me feeling exhausted instead of curious.

I've been thinking more about this whole Jesus business that I'm in as of late. I think that the way Jesus taught is the best possible way to live. But I have difficulty with living like this. I am weak, I need to vent, I feel awkward, and I don't know how to approach people. When I find out that person x is doing something that I feel is wrong I know that Matthew 18 teaches that the first thing I need to do is go to them. But what if I don't really talk to them and don't have any previous relationship? Does that change how I respond?

The way the verse is written doesn't really leave any room for alternate interpretations. I must go to the person first, that's it. This is a pain in the ass. Being a follower of Jesus is really hard sometimes. The part of me that wants to do these things clashes with the part of me that is human and the human part usually wins.

So here's my question. If I approach a person that I am only mildly familiar with and want to confront them about something, do I do it?

On a completely unrelated note, summers at camp are much more difficult without a certain bearded man. Here's hoping I make it through the next 5 weeks without swearing at staff meeting and then driving off property (I was thinking about it today).

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Away

Now comes the part of the year where this blog changes gears into being discussions about how the summer at camp is going. Or at least, it would be if I was at camp right now. I'm not though. Instead I'm stuck here in Kingston waiting for my wisdom teeth to stop swelling up and drain out so I can get my ass back up to camp where it belongs. This week is the first week of summer camp at Iawah that I have missed in almost three years. I have been present for the majority of twenty four consecutive weeks of Summer Iawah programming. That's two full summers on staff, three weeks at the end of ILT, and a week-ish of staff training this summer. I am never not at camp when it's running.

I know that the camp that's currently running is not all that special. It's family camp meaning that there are inevitably families running around making unreasonable demands of staff members, and tensions are likely high due to too much work for some and not enough for others. Boredom at camp creates a plethora of problems.

But I want to be there anyways. I feel so completely helpless and useless being stuck here in Kingston with nothing to do but swear about how frustrated I am and talk about stupid things. I hate not being able to be involved and be a part of a solution to problems that I hear about only tangentially. I don't want to be here in Kingston where I only get bits and pieces of the story. I want to be out there where I can be a part of the problems and help get them fixed. That's the whole reason I'm at camp this summer anyways; to try and make staff better than it was for me last year. And yet here I am sitting in the guest room of my parents kingston house, feeling totally helpless.