A lot of crazy stuff has happened in the last year. COVID is the most obvious one, but there's also been a move, a job change, some health stuff with Amanda, and the ongoing journey I have with my mental health. Events have occurred over the course of this year which I might have otherwise chosen to avoid. I tend not to think in those terms though. There are lots of things I would like to be different in my life, but I don't have control over most of them. I can't make the whole world change to suit the way I'd like it to be, so I always look at situations as I can control them. If I obey the rules, if I live within the boundaries of where I find myself then what can I do in that space.
In the present situation, I find myself trying to make use of all of this isolated time and figuring out what some ways to connect with other people are. Part of that has been learning to use the phone and call people more readily without such hesitation, but part of that has also been thinking about what it means to connect with people. When you can visit someone in person, a card seems like a pretty small thing but when you experience so much isolation a card starts to feel like a pretty incredible gesture. "Someone wrote my name on a piece of paper." I've actually been reflecting a lot on my experiences working in California and how even just a few lines from friends back home via email meant so much to me when I was so starved for connection with others.
I think being realistic helps me to draw my attention towards problem solving instead of towards anger or some kind of political action. It actually reminds me of exercises that people use in different fields to help spur creative thought. In music it would be like forcing yourself to use only three chords in a composition or arranging a piece for piano and drums with nothing else. In writing people often use writing prompts as a tool to practice writing in ways you might not normally. Being realistic with life situations feels like the same kind of exercise. I'm expressing creativity as I live my life in response to all these things that are dealt to me.
